MPD rolls out new cost-cutting single-wheeled patrol vehicles

And in “Today’s Lighter Side of the News…”

See photos and video of the new COPS Team in action below.

MURRIETA — Bicycle patrols are nothing new in law enforcement. It is well known within the law enforcement and bad guy communities that, much like foot patrols used in big cities, officers on bicycles can get to places normal patrol vehicles can’t. They can also do so much faster than foot patrols and quieter than officers in traditional, four-wheeled vehicles.

Always on the cutting edge of tactics, training, and tools used by law enforcement agencies nationwide, Murrieta PD in southwest Riverside County decided to switch gears and roll in the new year by debuting their “new and improved, but heavily modified and streamlined” single-wheeled patrol vehicles to be used for the department’s new one-wheeled Cycle-Ops Patrols, or COPS Division.

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“We’ve been looking at the best options for our dedicated bicycle patrol officers for a while,” a Murrieta Police spokes-person recently didn’t say. “But for such a small agency, we found the expense of traditional bicycles to be very cost prohibitive. Heck, even bike pumps seem to get more expensive every year, due to all the inflation.”

“So, in an effort to still provide our citizens and community with the best and most innovative law enforcement coverage possible, we decided that what could be done quickly and efficiently by officers on two wheels could be done just as easily – and for much less money to fork out – for officers on just one wheel,” the imaginary spokes-person continued.

“Yeah, it took some time for our officers to adjust to the new equipment and the police uni-on wasn’t too happy at first,” the department’s rep didn’t say.

“Getting accustomed to the new patrol unicycles was a bit difficult and wobbly in the beginning; and the extensive training left our officers wheelie, wheelie tired and caused them to be a bit crank-y,” MPD never admitted, “but we’re not ones to back-pedal.”

“Also, I’m not ashamed to say a few of our officers left some significant skid-marks during their training, but all in all I’d say our rollout has already been quite successful,” the department’s representative never said.

“I know many of our citizens who have seen the new one-wheeled patrols think our officers are a bunch of cycle-paths, but you have to understand that crime and recidivism in the I.E. is a vicious cycle, so the cycle-ology behind the decision to switch to one-wheeled patrols was a solid one.

Asked how he felt after recently being apprehended by a team of the one-wheeled warriors, one baddie said simply, “It really grinds my gears what these COPS will resort to just to make an arrest.”

So, with their new team mascot, a one-eyed velo-ciraptor, leading the way, Murrieta PD has wheeled into the record books as the first – and probably only – area law enforcement agency to make the switch to one-wheeled policing.

“Besides, we’ve already found that in most cases when our officers storm up like a cycle-one to a scene, looking like a bunch of wobbly clowns in a third-rate circus, the bad guys are either too shocked – or laughing too hard – to even consider running away. So the unicycle patrols are definitely the wave of the future and here to stay,” said no one ever.

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Make sure to turn on your speakers for Murrieta PD’s video below.

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Contact the writer: [email protected]

Trevor Montgomery, 47, moved last year to the Intermountain area of Shasta County from Riverside County and runs Riverside County News Source and Shasta County News Source. Additionally, he writes for several other news organizations; including Riverside County based newspapers, Valley News, The Valley Chronicle, and Anza Valley Outlook; as well as Bonsall/Fallbrook Village News in San Diego County and Mountain Echo in Shasta County.

Trevor spent 10 years in the U.S. Army as an Orthopedic Specialist before joining the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department in 1998. He was medically retired after losing his leg, breaking his back, and suffering both spinal cord and brain injuries in an off-duty accident. (Click here to see segment of Discovery Channel documentary of Trevor’s accident.)

During his time with the sheriff’s department, Trevor worked at several different stations; including Robert Presley Detention Center, Southwest Station in Temecula, Hemet/Valle Vista Station, Ben Clark Public Safety Training Center, and Lake Elsinore Station; along with other locations.

Trevor’s assignments included Corrections, Patrol, DUI Enforcement, Boat and Personal Water-Craft based Lake Patrol, Off-Road Vehicle Enforcement, Problem Oriented Policing Team, and Personnel/Background Investigations. He finished his career while working as a Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Investigator and was a court-designated expert in child abuse and child sex-related crimes.

Trevor has been married for more than 28 years and was a foster parent to more than 60 children over 13 years. He is now an adoptive parent and his “fluid family” includes 13 children and 15 – but soon to be 16 – grandchildren.