Breakfast With Bubbie: How To Deal With “Negative Nancys”

Robin “Bubbie” Montgomery

A reader asked:

“How do you deal with “Negative Nancy’s” in an optimistic way?”

This is a difficult one. We all have these types of people in our lives and it’s very hard not to be snarky or rude back to them. It’s also sometimes tough to remember that these same people may be going through very difficult times in their lives and are reacting to their own personal stress.

That being said, the best way I have found to deal with Negative Nancy’s is just to kill them. 

Uhhhmm….darn spell-check….I meant, kill them with kindness. Or if that doesn’t work you can try and change the topic of discussion if it is going in a negative direction. And of course, humor always helps. As I always remind my kids, it takes at least two people to carry on and continue an argument.

But there are almost always going to be people in our lives who see everything in their life as negative. The best thing you can do is walk away. It is OK to not allow negative people in your life, even if they are family. It is OK to want to grow and change in a positive way and some people just can’t or won’t do that. In fact in some cases, choosing to walk away might be the only choice you can realistically make to protect yourself and your loved ones. It might be a difficult decision to make, but once made, your decision can change your life.

There is a wonderful book that I recommend to couples that Trevor and I counsel called “Silver Boxes: The Gift of Encouragement,” by Florence Littauer. It is very uplifting. It talks about how using positive thoughts and words can change a person’s life.

Just remember, be kind to one another, you never know what someone else is going through.


If you have a question you’d like answered private message me or email me at [email protected]