Guest Writer Spotlight: To Settle or Not to Settle – By Tiffany Bishop

Submitted by Tiffany Bishop – Educated Bosses LLC.

If there’s one thing we can all agree on, it’s that relationships are hard. They have a way of bringing up all our issues and forcing us to face them. So, whatever you are struggling with as a single person, it will become amplified when you’re in a relationship. And the thing is, it doesn’t even have to be a romantic relationship – even platonic relationships can help you learn a lot about yourself.

For instance, you may notice that you settle for relationships that aren’t good for you, particularly when you’re desperate and/or lonely. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging you – this is entirely normal. No one enjoys being lonely, especially when it starts to look like you may be alone forever.


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So it’s easy to go back to that boyfriend who consistently abuses you or that friend who constantly betrays you. And after a while, you even start to believe that you deserve this kind of treatment. Eventually, this makes you shrink yourself and fail to live abundantly. So as good as settling can feel in the moment, it ultimately does more harm than good.

But I know it’s easier to say you won’t settle than to actually do it. So today, I am going to share with you a couple of tips on how to avoid settling for relationships that are below your standards. These tips will not only help you stave off loneliness and desperation, but they’ll help you live a more fulfilling life. As a person who’s made their fair share of relationship mistakes due to loneliness and desperation, these tips have really helped me out.

My favorite one is taking myself on dates. I know it sounds corny, but going on solo dates can really help you enjoy being single and explore your interests/hobbies. It can help you understand yourself deeper and finally get content with being alone. Remember, it’s only when we are okay being alone that we can be with others without expecting them to cure our loneliness or emptiness.

Another tip that helps with forming healthy relationships is engaging in activities you like in a social setting. For instance, if you like dancing, you can join a dancing club that meets regularly. This will allow you to meet like-minded people and engage with them without expecting anything in return. Over time, you will develop enough healthy relationships to know when one is turning toxic and needs to end.

It will take some time though, and a lot of courage. So if putting yourself out there seems scary, know that it’s normal. Just be patient with yourself and take things one step at a time – the relationship of your dreams is just a few steps away!

About the Author:

Tiffany Bishop is a college graduate with a master’s degree in, Psychology. She’s also a single mother and the owner of EDUCATED BOSSES, a firm supporting women’s empowerment. Tiffany publishes inspiring blogs, chronicles her faith-building experience, and offers coaching services. She personifies the life of a boss mom.

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Trevor Montgomery, 51, moved in 2017 to the Intermountain area of Shasta County from Riverside County and operates Riverside County News Source (RCNS) and Shasta County News Source (SCNS). Both are stringer organizations, providing breaking news coverage and community interest stories for other mainstream media organizations throughout the two regions they serve.

Additionally, he writes or has written for several other news organizations; including Riverside County based newspapers Valley News, Valley Chronicle, Anza Valley Outlook, and Hemet & San Jacinto Chronicle; the Bonsall/Fallbrook Village News in San Diego County; and Mountain Echo in Shasta County. He is also a regular contributor to Thin Blue Line TV and Law Enforcement News Network and has had his stories featured on news stations throughout the Southern California and North State regions.

Trevor spent 10 years in the U.S. Army as an Orthopedic Specialist before joining the Riverside County Sheriff’s Department in 1998. He was medically retired after losing his leg, breaking his back, and suffering both spinal cord and brain injuries in an off-duty accident. (Click here to see segment of Discovery Channel documentary of Trevor’s accident.)

During his time with the sheriff’s department, Trevor worked at several different stations; including Robert Presley Detention Center, Southwest Station in Temecula, Hemet/Valle Vista Station, Ben Clark Public Safety Training Center, and Lake Elsinore Station; along with other locations.

Trevor’s assignments included Corrections, Patrol, DUI Enforcement, Boat and Personal Water-Craft based Lake Patrol, Off-Road Vehicle Enforcement, Problem Oriented Policing Team, and Personnel/Background Investigations. He finished his career while working as a Sex Crimes and Child Abuse Investigator and was a court-designated expert in child abuse and child sex-related crimes.

Trevor has been married for more than 30 years and was a foster parent to more than 60 children over 13 years. He is now an adoptive parent and his “fluid family” includes 13 children and 18 grandchildren.